We fall in love with a person too in our life. We fall in love with them and then start building dreams around them. We dream of wedding them, we dream of building a house, a family, a future with them. This is a love that we want to possess.
Why?
Why do we have to love a person and always have to want to possess them? Have we ever thought of why we loved them in the first place? The answer to that 8 out of 10 times is the way that person looks. The way they look, the way they dress, their eyes, their smile, their hair, their glare all add up to the way they look. Then we start loving their character, their behavior, their attitude. Then we want to be around them, to talk to them, to laugh with them, to cry with them, we want them to share their feelings with us, we want them to be with us always. But have we ever thought of what we really want from them? NO! I am not referring to sex you pervert! I am referring to happiness. Yes, happiness!
And im talking about their happiness, not ours. We want to keep them by our side so that we can keep them happy. We want to gift them flowers, chocolates, soft toys etc to make them happy. But why are we heart-broken when that person wants to be with someone else? Her wanting to be with someone else means her being happy with him. Isnt that what we want? For her to be happy? Then why do we still try and win her heart? instead, why dont we pray to god to keep her happy with him? Aren't we selfish to say that she has to be ours? she will be happy with me and not with him?
People think that love is all about possession. to possess the person they love. For me, love is all about emotion. Love is an emotion that binds 2 people together. We don't have to necessarily be with each other to share love. We just need to pray that the other person is happy.
Think about it!
Cheers \m/
Freeek
Absolutely true!! But I want to share something here. There are 6 basic human needs outlined by Tony Robbins - Love/Connection, Certainity, Significance, Variety, Growth & Contribution. Each one of us have one of these as our core. The first four being the most important one,
ReplyDeletehumans can go to any extent to have these core needs fulfilled. If there is a person who can give you these you will spend more time with that person, thats why there is a feeling to possess things we love as it is satisfying one/many of our core needs !! :) :)
Love, certainty, significance, variety you say are the important things.
ReplyDeleteLove is something that is not created by one or at ones will. It just happens.
But certainty, significance, variety are all created by one in order to possess that he loves. Certainty is created to show significance for the person. And if you truly love a person and want badly to possess them, there is no question about variety because he does not want options. He wants to stick to that person. All these have a core initiation- Love. And my whole argument is that love is not something that has to be possessed. Love is an emotion that is satisfied without having to possess that what we love.
So my friend, I will have to disagree with Tony Ribbons here.
Thanks for your valuable thought on the same.
Cheers \m/
Shirish Raghu